I somehow got a girlfriend. She got pregnant, and tried to convince me that I was the father even though we never did anything remotely sexual together. It looked like she was aware of this, and looked kinda smug like she was trapping me.

I realized that I had no way to prove that I wasn’t the father, that nobody would ever believe me, that I was now stuck with being a father. I dreaded the idea of raising a child so much that I jumped off a bridge instead.

To be really honest, I would seriously consider this if I lived this in real life.